Do You Know What Love Really Is?

When it comes to love, some people would say it is one of the most important human emotions. Love is a set of emotions and behaviors characterized by intimacy, passion, and commitment. It involves care, closeness, protectiveness, attraction, affection, and trust. Many say it's not an emotion in the way we typically understand them, but an essential physiological drive. Love is a physiological motivation such as hunger, thirst, sleep, and sex drive.1 — PSYCHOLOGIST AND BIOLOGIST ENRIQUE BURUNAT There are countless songs, books, poems, and other works of art about love (you probably have one in mind as we speak!). Yet despite being one of the most studied behaviors, it is still the least understood. For example, researchers debate whether love is a biological or cultural phenomenon.2 5 Psychological Theories of Love How Do You Know You're Feeling Love for Someone? What are some of the signs of love? Researchers have made distinctions between feelings of liking and loving another person. Zick Rubin's Scales of Liking and Loving According to psychologist Zick Rubin, romantic love is made up of three elements:3 Attachment: Needing to be with another person and desiring physical contact and approval Caring: Valuing the other person's happiness and needs as much as your own Intimacy: Sharing private thoughts, feelings, and desires with the other person Based on this view of romantic love, Rubin developed two questionnaires to measure these variables, known as Rubin's Scales of Liking and Loving. While people tend to view people they like as pleasant, love is marked by being devoted, possessive, and confiding in one another. Are There Different Types of Love? Yup—not all forms of love are the same, and psychologists have identified a number of different types of love that people may experience.4 These types of love include: Friendship: This type of love involves liking someone and sharing a certain degree of intimacy. Infatuation: This form of love often involves intense feelings of attraction without a sense of commitment; it often takes place early in a relationship and may deepen into a more lasting love. Passionate love: This type of love is marked by intense feelings of longing and attraction; it often involves an idealization of the other person and a need to maintain constant physical closeness. Compassionate/companionate love: This form of love is marked by trust, affection, intimacy, and commitment. Unrequited love: This form of love happens when one person loves another who does not return those feelings. 8 Signs You've Met Your Twin Flame—The Soulmate's Lesser-Known Cousin Robert Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love Specifically, psychologist Robert Sternberg developed his well-regarded triangular theory of love in the early 1980s.5 Much research has built upon his work and demonstrated its universality across cultures.5 Sternberg broke love into three components—intimacy, passion, and commitment—that interact to produce seven types of love.